Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Age meme ~
The Two me's.
I'm currently sick and bedridden so I have nothing else better to do then yoink memes from other peoples blogs. >X D So, heres the post that inspired me to make my own where you can see the original meme picture which she was nice enough to break into pieces for easier viewing.
In the spirit of this meme, heres a basic rundown of my own transformation from larva to beautiful butterfly. * U *
Nerdy Tomboy Phase (for me, it went from as long as I can remember until 8th grade so ... I was in this phase for a pretty long damn time. >X D )
When I was little I sincerely wanted to be a boy and I did things that sometimes made even boys cringe. But then again, I went to a Christian school from kindergarten to fourth grade so the boys there were pretty much all pussies so. : / I mean things like picking up worms and whatnot. The only thing I was scared of was, and still is, spiders. I had absolutely zero interest in girl activities and was much more interested in watching or reading animal documentaries and learning about nature. I didn't care what I wore or how I looked and in fact I tended to look down on girls for being concerned about such things. Which was ironic, given my favorite color was pink the color OF girly girls. Such a confused child I was.
Preteen Emo Phase (uh let me think ... I'm pretty sure my 8th grade year was in 2005 so I was 15 when I made the transition to this phase)
When I learned we were moving and I would be going to a new school, I subconsciously decided that I was going to remake myself. I went through my life with no steadfast friends and I'd gone to a school that was 90% black from 4th grade to 7th and no matter what I did they never accepted me so I already knew I didn't want to be in a ghetto group at my new school. I ended up deciding to go for a punk/goth look. I wore a red plaid skirt, a black fitted tshirt and calf high black boots with studded belts on them for the first day of school. I was immediately accepted into that schools alternative group. To say I was taken aback was an understatement, I'd never had so many people talking to me, let alone showing interest in me and wanting to be my friend. In some ways, it was kind of imprinted on me that to have friends I have to dress this way and I ended up being very gothic chic throughout my high school career. Honestly, I only had a few problems with my mom not letting my wear what I wanted to because at heart I'm a shy person so tiny mini skirts and the like didn't really interest me a whole lot any way. What I had a problem with was her not letting me hang out with my friends outside of school. : /
Pretentious Hipster Phase
Honestly, I've never been in this phase. The author of Doomicorn mentioned for this one that she hid the fact she liked mainstream bands like My Chemical Romance, which I also did but it was so my newly made friends would continue to like me. The main group I hung out with was made up of older boys and girls who I met in high school and they were a little uppity. "Oh you like Green Day? You suck ..." or "Ew, Evanescence. I can't talk to you". I did this while still in the goth/emo/punk phase, I haven't had a point where I tried to pointedly make myself a unique snowflake by being against mainstream things.
I Don't Care Phase (age 18 1/2 to now)
Though its not something I'm proud of, halfway through my senior year I stopped going to school because thanks to a math class (math is my arch nemesis, grr) I wasn't going to be able to graduate and it sincerely hurt to know all my friends were graduating and seeing them happy and excited and doing things only graduating seniors could do really got to me. I was severely depressed and it became easier to just not go then try and pretend to be ok and excited for them when I was really dying inside with angst. >X D Not long after I stopped going, I started to stop caring about dressing a certain way because I was finding myself wanting to wear bright colors and I was developing quite the obsession with Hello Kitty. In a way I was glad that I didn't have to worry about pleasing anyone else but me and could explore this part of me. I'm currently going to school again to get my diploma which I should hopefully have in January! : D And I don't care about pleasing anyone when I get dressed in the morning. Maybe its because theres no one there who I really WANT to impress but I don't want to deny the part of me that does kind of like girly things anymore so I hope I don't fall under pressure when there IS someone I want to impress. >X D
I want to dress however I want, not how I think I should. Sometimes I want to wear bright clothes and sometimes I want to wear dark clothes. The styles of lolita I want to wear are sweet, gothic and classic because yes. All of these things are me. And I'm actually very interested in fairy kei, I jokingly said that I'd want fairy kei to be my casual look but now I can't get that possibility out of my head so ... we'll see!
And yes, this is pretty much my dream room. >X D